After all, we are all for the goodness of the class

For these two days, i've been repeatedly asking myself: wat am i doing all these for?

i'm not on the school admin's side. i'm not on my own benefits. i, too, would like to pay the 5 dollars through coupons.

i thought i was doing this for the sake of the class.

my assumptions: If we don't hand in the money, the mighty haven will continuous bug us. maybe the teacher in charge will just break into the classroom and shout at us? that's the worst senario. my most foundamental assumption is that the school is very determined to get us buy this stupid t-shirt, and most importantly, by cash, as i've found out from ms ng. my 小算盘：既然到头来都要付钱，又何必招来这么多不愉快呢？不愉快是三方面的，学校，老师和同学们都不高兴。既然如此，我们乖乖把钱交上去，不就杜绝了一切不愉快的发生了吗？于是我想，我就做一回黑脸，当一回坏人，把这倒霉的钱交上去好了。that's why i also msged xx for her opinion, coz i don't want when monday comes and i'm collecting money, there's a split between the ct rep and assistant, and ended up with only xx not willing to hand in money as she's not informed.

and then comes to sunday and xx changed her mind. i dunno. that's the end of my plan. i can't change my mind. there's nothing right or wrong, but i have my own reservations.

the '到头来' was my major concerns.

i have been trying to put myself into xx's and chris henry's shoes. i never found their arguments unreasonable. i believe xx did this also for the class's good. she doesn't want us to waste money any more. she doesn't want the draconian admin to do watever they want to do regardless the students' emotions. deep in my heart i also feel the admin's behaviour unreasonable. they just anyhow collect money from us even without a printed notice to the parents, and never ask opinion from us before making sth 'compulsory'. sadly, 我和xx并没有同一个出发点。xx觉得我们有赢的希望。也许熬过了７月３１日就什么是也没有了，也许学校受不了也会让我们用coupon付账。只是，这一点被我归入了‘侥幸心理’。我觉得，在这个节骨眼上，学校妥协的几率，几乎是０。

I believe we're all trying to do sth good for the class, to minimise the classmates' losses. sadly we are from different starting point, and we fail to convince each other, and half way in between we become emotional and had some misunderstanding, and couldn't get the thing done.

indeed i didn't figured out 'stone sail' was ‘见风使舵’(where is the wind?)　i thought xx means we 'stone' more with the admin and we will win over．and i didn't bother to countercheck with her.　then i was quite nervous fearing she'll 干到底 with the school.

maybe i'm wrong guessing that xx has some hope in overcoming the 'haven', as it seems she has no hope in the admin. i don't have much hope either, but i think it's best that we take the initiative to talk to the teacher in charge first before she comes to chase after us. it's kind of a strategy, 先礼后兵。我们大可陈述我们的理由，就算他不接受，也显示了我们的诚意。他如果还要强制执行，理亏的也在他，毕竟我们曾经好声好气和他调解过。如果等到他来找我们，就有一些被动了。

i dunno why but personally i'm quite against the idea that we don't buy the t-shirt since the XL sizes are out of stock. my first reaction is like　这简直就是无赖的理由。nvm, maybe i have some 先入为主的成见。　

i hear cries that the class's split. that's not the first time. the last time was a few weeks ago about the prom. well. i guess knowing the difference and try to accommodate it, is also a way we try to bond with each other. 就像结了婚的夫妻，如果没有吵过架反而不正常。‘相敬如宾’只是一种表面的掩饰。i just hope that the class will view it not so pessimistically. After all, no matter which stand u r on, or u are worry about the class's split, u r all concerning with our class and want it have a better and brighter furture. Only once we have the faith, we can achieve the goal. only we think we can do it, we shall do it.