这一天终于到来了。

疏离不是孤寂。

无所谓。

孤单的人总说无所谓，其实心里一直在下雪。

埋藏心中的伤悲，擦干眼角的泪水，聚聚散散，不愿说后悔。

don't think anyone will be bothered to read this chunk of chinese. nvm, i shall just go on.

从来都只为自己写blog，不过这一篇，就献给关心我的，读着这个blog的人吧。谢谢你们的捧场与支持。虽然这个blog最终还是过不了他的一周岁生日，不过，他已经收获很多了。

夕阳西下，独自走在回宿舍的路上。回头望望，只有自己的背影。心里舒坦了不少。至少，我比我的影子要自由。

有人说，世界上最痛苦的事，就是你喜欢的人站在你的面前，却不知道你喜欢她。
只是，就算知道了，也只是另一段痛苦的开始。
被自己不喜欢的人喜欢，是一种折磨；
喜欢上不喜欢自己的人，是一种煎熬；
总是喜欢上不喜欢自己的人，
把折磨带给别人，
不煎熬留给自己；
总是这样的损人不利己。

太多的在虚拟的世界里说话，以至失去了语言的能力。
每个人说的话都是一样多的，只是，我对自己说了太多话了。

不甘心，却要放手；
明知是自焚，却还要扑火；
就算是一条不归路，也不会回头。

总是想认真地做每一件事
自己却没有三头六臂；
想认认真真仔仔细细的去爱
每一次都擦肩而过；
走着同一样的路，
犯着同一样的错误
写着同一样的blog。
命中注定，这就是我要走的路。

不用埋怨。命运就是像是一块黑巧克力，
苦过了，就会是甜；
只是我，只尝过酸的味道。

最喜欢吃黑巧克力，却从来吃不出它的苦味。
还喜欢cappuccino味道
如果有爱尔兰咖啡，我也一定会喜欢的，
幽冷的威士忌，与香醇温暖的咖啡，
只是，没有人会来帮我煮。

一个人越喜欢一样东西，就越记不住它的样子，喜欢的人的模样，也会慢慢淡忘。

总是相信世上有永恒的爱情，为此被人嘲笑了许多次，可我还是相信。
我的信仰。

总是被自己冷酷的外表所迷惑。
欺骗着所有的人，包括我自己。
心的深处澎湃着的岩浆，
深埋在白雪覆盖的大地下。
冰与火的交融。

尝试着打开心灵的柴扉
却发现，门外风雨交加

站在四楼的走廊上，总有一种想跳的欲望。

我希望，自己一个人坐飞船去火星，
着陆后却发现燃料不够飞回地球，
一个人，在一个陌生的地方，
独自
了此余生。

我不相信有人会读懂这篇blog真正的含义，不相信有人能读懂我的感情。
永别了，我的blog，在这之后，你就永远停留在了2004年2月19日。

under pressure

朋友啊朋友，你可曾想起了我
如果你在遭遇不幸，请你记起我；
朋友啊朋友，你可曾记起了我
如果你在享受幸福，请你忘记我。

yucks, tired.
slept through the whole math lecture.
bad mood.
weekend blue.

life is just so meaningless.
without our will we are born. against our will we die...

ssef updates:
setting up: march 8th, 4:00pm onwards
judging: march 9th, whole day
exhibition: march 10th, whole day

when shall i do my block test?

if a boy and a girl become a couple, the boy has to make a choice or whether he wants to engage in the relationship, and the girl also. so the probability of they getting attached is 1/4.

thus, a boy has to have 4 crushes to have a relationship.

it's a binomial distritution. x~(n,1/4)

as n approaches infinity, the boy or girl would surly get engaged in a relationship

unfortunately, man's life is not eternal.

i'm very looking forward to thursday now. short day. badminton. and no s-papers!!!

wednesday got ssef briefing. cannot go tkd.

don't feel like listening to lectures. wanna pon lectures. got sianed doing tutorials. i wanna 堕落.

i imagine someday i fell from the roof, or being knocked down by car. my blood oozing from all over. and i lie there, smiling faintly.

death. sweet death.

when there's a novelty there, people have a feeling mixed with curiosity and apprehension.

now, my fear dominates.

maybe some time later, it's the other way round?

my mum called me yesterday, to my room phone. i was at fac chalet, my roommate was with my juniors outside. so she happily thought i went to 拍拖 with some one.... blehz... and how on earth can i explain to her what fac chalet is? haiz, in china, if the school wants to organise overnight activities, the parents will scream and complain. and the fac chalet organised by our fac com. haiz, they won't understand.

and dunno how my dad saw me on msn at 1 a.m..... haiz, i thought they all went to sleep at that time lorz. and again i was scolded for always hanging on line. please, don't force me to change my msn account.

sighz.

when the clock strikes twelve, i take off my glass shoes, and i become the 'prince frog' again.
they say, there's no eternal love, but eternal friendship.
i just hope everything can be eternal
最浪漫的事，就是和你一起慢慢变老。

watched the second hand move slowly passed twelve.
valentine's day has passed.
my eyes feel something with pH less than 7.
dunno why.

on feb 15th, i shed the tears of feb 14th.

十八岁，不哭。

wangtao and huajia got almost completely drank at the chalet, while xx was so high and 调戏ing this poor 32 junior.
behind all these, i believe, they feel sad, they feel neglected, they feel unfair.
because, 又是一个没有情人的情人节。
at least i'm lucky in the sense someone sent me a msg saying happy valentine. a six year friend.
really touched. i spent one years to discover a person. one year to like her, two years of conflicting idea whether i should like her, one year to break it down to friendship, one month to like her again, half a year to accept the reality, half a year to 'hate' her, and another 2 months to restore it to normal friendship.

其中的酸甜苦辣，除了她和我，又有谁能明白？

but i cannot afford another 6 years.

动物情趣 go and see! so cute!!

happy valentine's day.

went to fac chalet. quite fun. in the end forgot today is valentine liaoz. until when the mrt train reached orchard and saw all the couples there....

i nearly freaked myself out today. was scaring myself... but not that bad...

大约在公元3世纪的罗马，有个暴君当政，罗马内外战争频仍，民不聊生。为了补足兵员，将战争进行到底，暴君下令，凡是一定年龄范围内的男子，都必须进入罗马军队，以生命为国家效劳。因此他禁止国人举行结婚典礼，甚至要求已经结婚的毁掉婚约。一位德高望重的修士V alentine，他不忍看到一对对伴侣就这样生离死别，于是为前来请求帮助的情侣秘密地主持上帝的结婚典礼。后来暴君知晓了，把修士折磨致死。修士死的那一天是2月14日。修士为情人们而死，为了纪念他，这一天成了情人节。

shall i or shall not? this is a question

i am D

你是一个花心的人吗？

START
有一个小女孩的名字叫露西，她的家里很穷，所以露西的玩具只有一个，就是一个小
熊玩偶。你认为露西是怎样得到这个玩偶的呢？
> 从垃圾场捡来的 to 1
> 妈妈帮她做的 to 2

1 有一天，露西的爸爸回家来，高兴地对家人说:*我赚到一笔大钱了!* 你认为露西的
爸爸导师是怎样得到这笔钱的呢?
> 买公益奖券中了大奖 to 3
> 他所发明的东西大卖 to 4

2 有一天,露西的爸爸回家来，高兴地对家人说:*我赚到一笔大钱了!* 你认为这笔钱
的金额大约会是多少?
> 可以一辈子不工作，到处游山玩水 to 4
> 可以5年不工作 to 5

3 结果露西变成了有钱人家的小姐，她的爸爸妈妈买了许多玩具给她。你想他会最喜
欢下面那一个玩具呢?
> 法国洋娃娃 to 6
> 家家酒游戏组 to 7

4 露西变成了有钱人家的小姐，爸爸妈妈买了许多玩具给她。站在一堆新玩具前，露
西喃喃自语说了哪句话?
> 应该先玩那个呢? to 6
> 真不敢相信，好象在做梦 to 8

5 露西变成了有钱人家的小姐，爸爸妈妈买了很多玩具给她,不过其实她还有一个愿
望。你想会是下面那一个呢?
> 想买新衣服 to 7
> 全家一起到高级餐厅用餐 to 8

6 有一天晚上，当露西正在漂亮的新家睡得香甜的时候,被放在房里角落的熊宝宝突然
站了起来，慢慢走向露西.你觉得当时熊宝宝脸上的表情会是如何的呢?

> 笑的很悲伤 to 9
> 哭泣着 to 10

7有一天晚上,当露西正在漂亮的新家睡得香甜的时候,被放在房里角落的熊宝宝突然站
了起来，慢慢走向露西.突然它摸了露西一下。你觉得它会摸哪个部位呢?

> 脸颊 to 9
> 肩膀 to 11

8 有一天晚上,当露西正在漂亮的新家睡得香甜的时候,被放在房里角落的熊宝宝突然
站了起来，慢慢走向露西。熊宝宝对着露西说了一句话，它说了什么话?

> 太好了，露西 to 10
> 太过分了，露西 to 11

9 当露西醒来时，熊宝宝已经不在了。之后你想露西会怎么做?
> 她并没发现,所以什么也没做 A
> 赶紧跑出去找熊宝宝 B

> 10 当露西醒来时，熊宝宝已经不在了。你认为熊宝宝的真正身份是什么？
> 能为主人带来好运的魔法熊宝宝 C
> 天使化身的熊宝宝 D

11 当露西醒来时，熊宝宝已经不在了。露西的家会变成什么样子呢？
>依旧很有钱，但家人关系变的很坏，经常吵架 E
> 又恢复到原来的破小屋 F


A 出轨是家常便饭你是个容易见异思迁的人，花心或移情别恋对你乃是天经地义的事，而
且也不会有什么罪恶感。就算有了正式的男友，还会跟别人来往，你还乐此不疲。因为你
的本性喜 欢冒险，所以才会喜欢这4’da房里角落种刺激的感觉
B 你很容易被诱惑
你的花心程度较高，你意志不够坚定，如果对方热情的邀请你，你一定会陷下去。不过，
你会觉得有罪恶感，所以不会主动去勾引别人。你的理由就是*不好意思拒绝他*
C 你没勇气这么做
你很想移情别恋，但是没有勇气这么做。这并不是你的罪恶感在作祟，而是你太胆小没有
勇气这么做，只好将强烈的欲望压抑下来，所以老是听到你在说：*我才不会花心呢！*其
实你还是有点心不甘情不愿的
D 错将友情当爱情
你的花心程度很低，不过有时也会有移情别恋的念头，但是你并不想背上背叛情人的 罪名
，所以不会这么做。但是你很容易错将友情当爱情，容易因关心而发展出爱情，所以你要
事实理清感觉，别把友情与爱情混淆了
E 怕麻烦所以不会花心
你的花心程度极低，只要有了情人，就不会和别的异性交往。这并不是因为你是个专 情的
人，而是因为你很怕麻烦。万一偷偷跟别人交往，东窗事发了还得找一大堆理由解释会很
累，所以怕麻烦的你绝对不会自找麻烦
F 只对自己的情人感兴趣 你的花心程度等于零，简直可以说是世上最专情的人。你的眼里
只有情人一个，根本 容不下其他的异性。就算有人想追你，你都可以视若无睹不为所动。
不过你也要求情
人和你一样的忠心，万一他变心，你绝对不会放过他

Happy Valentine's Day... in advance. hahaz, this flash is cute. yeah, and there's another one

TIRED

i went online, she went off.
she said she's not shan liang. she said i was wrong.
she just wanna me to 死心.
yar, i 死心 by now... maybe it's just a half a sentence, by i always honour my own words.

wanna be ur friend.

slack for the cross country.

one of my juniors in hostel would have into top twenty, had he not fainted and fell just twenty meters before the finishing line.

if u finished the first friend test and wanna try another one, go flying34.friendtest.com

while the ivle is crawling, i just blog here.

four days passed, after the night of sadness. when i woke up in the morning the next day, the wound has healed, at least on the surface. until this morning, i heard they the song for advertising valentine song dedication, i have to close my eys and suppress the surge of something wet from falling out from my eyes.

can't remember the song name, nor the lyrics. wanna be ur friend? that's the way. everything seems to be ok, until at some moment, all out of a sudden, the memories, regrets and etc overcome ur whole body and mind.

yups, this friday is international friendship day.

the heaven is fair. it takes sth from u, it will surly give sth back. what has heaven given me? time. i can do the things i like. i wish the heaven can take some time from me and give me a love.

maybe, the request is too demanding for the heaven.

in a person's life, he'll meet a several people he likes. but he may just missed most of them.

at least i tried to let her know, although it's too early? or too late? bad timing.

i've done all wat i can afford to do; but i didn't do whatever i can do.

someone told me that she is just too nice a girl, very shan liang; she ought to belong to everyone of us.

i'm just too selfish wanting to make her my own.

time passed.

i fear.

i'm behaving normal to everyone, except her.

never spoke to her since this week.

wanna smile to her, but don't know how.

myself sux.

i can't leave us to drift far and far away. the gravitational force is just too weak to counter the repulsive forces.

wat shall i do?

i want an anchor to stop me from moving, before i can find her path and decide wat i can do.

i really really hope, we can remain as friends, true friends, not those kind of friends who merely nod and say hello to each other when they meet each other.

haiz, think the quiz questions are just too easy. i almost put all options at 7 to 9 marks... hehez, want to set more questions.

trying to use the ftp thingy, hehez, but got errors, etc

Which house will u be assigned to?

ռ����Ե_������

if u r too bored, can try to go to flyingaround.friendtest.com, hehez

crawling ivle....

ivle sux. so slow

how do i rate myself for today?
51 upon 100

假设我以下的几个等式成立,请大家给出最后一个等式的答案:)
1=5
2=9
3=17
4=33
那么:
5=?

i'm much much much better now. yups, want to be a sunshine boy, hehez

谢谢你。
虽然你最终还是不能接受我，
可是，
以前的日子，
是我最快乐的一段时光。
谢谢你，
我的快乐天使。

轻轻的我走了
正如我轻轻的来
我轻轻的挥袖
作别西边的云彩

你是天空中的一片云
偶尔投在我的心湖。

blame nobody
my life will go on
i'll still keep the blog...

ps. don't use the tag-board. if u really really want to say sth, do it by other means.

我终于失去了你。
留下一个难题，
做你的朋友；
我答应了你，
虽然我知道这很难，
虽然我知道其实内心深处的我不会答应，
可我还是答应了，
我怎么能对你说不？
我会老老实实做你的朋友的，
以我的泪发誓。

爱从不逗留来去都不给理由
他只给结果它来时对谁都是予取予求
爱从不逗留只由人坠落或是成熟
若是它真的要走不会理会你是不是一无所有

in my dream, u said 'i love you' to me
in the reality, u said 'i'm sorry'

same seven letters

我难过的是放弃你放弃爱
放弃的梦被打碎忍住悲哀
我以为是成全
你却说你更不愉快

i know i cannot force a love one some one else.
wat will happen if i tell her staight away?

i dunno believe in first sight move.
but i'm just too slow
getting to know people,
discovering the one i like.

i hope i have the courage to go to school on monday.
it's no one's mistake.
but i have to give myself a reason.

will be taking the second time

1460, my sat score

closing this down in 3 days' time

spring has passed
and the next season is not summer
nor autumn
but winter

am i 'springing?'

cny is never the right time to mass dance;
is valentine the right time to give gift?
i'm just making a fool of myself
my own personal experience.

if u love the right person, u'll be having valentine everyday.
i'm not;
not because i like the wrong person,
but because it's a mistake i like her.

too sensitive. i'm writing too much here already.

A Columbine High School student wrote:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but
shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but
have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families; more conveniences, but less time; We have more degrees, but less
sense; more knowledge, but less judgment;more experts, but less solutions;
more medicine, but less wellness. We have multiplied our possessions, but
reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to
life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered
outer space, but not inner space; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the
soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We have higher incomes,
but lower morals; we've become long on quantity,but short on quality. These
are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow
relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These
are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken
homes. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the
stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time
when you can choose either to forward this message and make a difference...
or just hit delete.

i like tkd training more and more. sparring is fun. i need it to vest my exessive energies.
tml still got 2.4... hehez, only running the track 6 rounds seems dull... though i still will miss the A by a few seconds... blehz

haiz, maybe i need another pair of specs... didn't see the minus sign and almost led other person to a mistake... sheesh

wanted to do hw
didn't do anything at all

people like people
people dislike people
what's the big deal?

we condemn hypocrisy so much
but it appears to be a social norm
which has penetrated the walls of schools

i wish
someday
i can live with my loved one,
somewhere
away from all the hustle and bustle of the world
in the sweet world
of our own