had my operation today... grr... not painful except the anaesthesia injection... the operation lasted for about 30 minutes. quite ok, but i have a dropsy there now... not pain, but quite 难过. furthermore have to suffer the inconvenience in the next ten days...

i went shopping with my mum this afternoon, quite a fruitful day.

we went to specs shop first... hehe, by next monday i'll have two new pair of specs... and my eyesight is not failing that fast! only deepened by 25 degrees, and i can still see clearly with my current specs... hmm, hehe, cost my mum 1000 rmb... not too bad as she ordered the best 镜片 for me, and the frames were not cheap either. every year i go back to china i'll return to singapore with two new pairs of specs. and today i had my specs washed by ultrasound or something like that, and the whole world in front of me seemed so clean and clear, haha.

then we went into the downtown area, the true shopping area... hehe, wanna look for shoes... (moo will definitely be mad). haha, looking for chinese brands. quite nice looking but dunno whether their endurance was equally good. anyway, didn't find a suitable pair, and the one i wanted don't have my size... i think my size is quite commmon. anyways, shall shop elsewhere later in the holiday.

and a strange thing happened along our stroll in the street. a couple of people approached usu asking whether we were shopping for shoes and recommended their own shops. haiyo, am i too obvious? dunno. hehe, they can make good detectives.

and i had my own watch. haha, ending my life as a watchless person. anywayz... in the past i also had watches, but i either lost them somewhere or the watches were ugly in my eyes and i never dare to wear... my mum returned from 深圳 with two faked rolex watches. hehe, one for me and one for my father... of course i'm not wearing it... quite odd, and also tempt the thieves, even though it only cost 100 plus rmb... hehe, faked one mah.

i bought a new badminton racket also. i lost the one i brought to singapore last year some time in the middle of the year and for the rest of year i had to borrow my roommate's, even in fos... and i saw exactly the same one also today. this time i bought a better one at 186 rmb, plus an extra grip. the brand is 'double happiness', hehe, famous table tennis bat brand. not famous for making badminton racket, that's why it's cheap... quite light racket, and it boasts that it's made of titanium... but actually i spent more time in front of the yonex and wilson ones... if my mum was not there, i would probably have chosen the 400 plus yonex one... that's the cheapest among the yonex ones... anyway, the most expensive one costs 1600 plus. but i bet it has rested there for a long time, hehe. maybe i can only have a grip on that in my dream... anyway my standard is not that high, and my standard just fit into the 'double happiness' one. hehe

if i knew how to tie and fasten the strings myself, i would have bought yonex strings and put in up in my racket... but i dunno how to do that...

my father called and told us he's not coming back for dinner, so my mum and i had dinner in an KFC. i like the barbecue flavoured chicken wings. they also had new 'lemon chicken burger', but didn't dare to have a try.

spot quite a few cd shops along the way, shall go some day on my own to explore. but it's quite difficult to find the 'ancient' albums. shall also take a tour at 新华书店 some day...

i'm proud to say i did 5 math questions today...

anyways, surfed net for the whole day with little harvest...

我们何其幸运
　　无法确知
　　自己生活在什么样的世界
　　
　　 ------辛波丝卡
and this one, from di xia tie.

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

他们彼此深信
是瞬间迸发的热情让他们相遇。
这样的确定是美丽的，
但变幻无常更为美丽。
摘译自辛波丝卡(Wislawa Szymborska)
"Love at First Sight"第一段

sounds familiar? yar, this is from jimi's turn left, turn right.

there's sth wrong with the dial-up connection and i cannot go online now...

our family had steamboat for dinner this evening. having steam boat in a winter evening is really a 'hot' thing, hehe, as it really warms u up. but in our steam boat we put in a lot of vegetable, and meat is just supplementary. my father ordered quite a lot, and in the end we have to 打包 some back to home.

anyways, my mum has some 'computing' exam this evening. good luck to her. hehe, computing... sounds chim, but should be a basic and easy one, as it's an open book exam. a piece of cake it should be.

went to daqiao, my alma mater this morning. took a bus from my home to right in front of the school gate... they r celebraing 10th anniversary this year... hehe, quite a young school. hmm, and they wanted us to write some 贺词 to them, and even invited a chinese teacher to debrief us... haiyo, my chinese is quite lousy by now... i mean, all the 报章报道s have stifled all my creativity in chinese... and such kind of 贺词 is all 千篇一律, and quite difficult to mark a difference from the others... and they want 三言两语 only, or else i can crap a bit of 肉麻词藻, like using dunno how many 成语 in one sentence, hehe. hmm, just 混混过去算了.

then we visit our teachers... met my form teacher... hehe, should say she looks younger... hmm, and she's teaching sec 1 now after so many year of sec 3 (in china we only have 3 levels in secondary school). our class was his first form class in sec 3, and the best class, hehe, i should say. hmm, unluckily my classmates all went to uni already, and also quite a few went to new zealand, aussie, uk on their own... seems there is quite a lot of rich people in my class... they had a 聚会 when they were waiting for their 高考 results, but i was still in sinapore. if i could go back during june holiday, probabaly we'll have a big reunion.

my chinese teacher has retired. my math teacher is on long-term mc. haha, she's a very old teacher, and we call her 金花婆婆 and 金花 is her name... she has always been suffering health problems, and only taught us for half a year...

and the piece of shocking news: my english teacher has been expelled by the school! well, he's the kind of 放荡不羁 teacher, and quite 不得志, but teaches quite well... but the other teachers say he somehow got 过火 last year and was expelled... i only thought students can be expelled... anyways, he has a good friend, a math teacher, also the same type. today we met him and he got all kinds of funny stuff to tell us... he even get drunk with students, hehe... but he's quite a hot guy in front of the principal, and still follows the rules, so he is still there.

didn't meet my chem teacher, as she's having lesson. and discussed physics prac and bernuolli's effect with her, haha, she said the current sec 3 batch is for experiment as this year is the one to change the textbooks and etc, so quite 没有底

again had 小笼包 and 混沌 for lunch. someone mass 请客, hehe. imagine 16 bowls of 混沌 in front of 8 people....... initially wanted to visit huajia as he has just had his knee operation, but dunno where the hospital is... check later.

she's back also. even sent me her photos vial email... i'm quite sure she used 秘密抄送 as i can't see my address in the recepients' addresses. why did she not want to others' to know? i discovered another address in the format '* and chocomint@yahoo.com', well, chocomint is her address, so i just assume that one is the one she shared with someone else... probably that guy?

hehe, jealousy? stupid scorpion instinct? i'm quite startled myself as these ideas come into my mind...

and i found out that in one photo the soft toy she held was the one i gave her as the birthday present last year... what is she trying to convery? or is it just a coincidence and 我想得太多了？

anyway, that soft toy is my first and by now the only birthday gift i've given out... hmm, still remembered the day i went into the gift shop and found out i was the only guy there... and all the others looked at me as if i'm an alien. of course the 老板娘 gave me extra attention, recommending this and that...

'on what occassion is this gift for?'

'birthday'

'boy or girl?'

'girl?'

'girlfriend?'

'oh, no no, just normal friend'

......

i was quite embarrassed anyway, and just anyhow picked one up...

===================================================================

later went back home at one plus in the afternoon, didn't want to do homework. took out my harmonica and 竖笛(is that clarinet?) to play, hehe, i learnt harmonica in primary school and 竖笛 in daqiao as a part of music lessons... not so pro, hehe, but still can play some songs, etc...

and that cute and small harmo was her gift for my birthday last year... remind me of the song 细水长流. sadly, by now, even our friendship is on the verge of 断流。

my mother wanted me to learn some instrument (was that piano) in my primary one... i was quite naughty then and refused... i regret now, hehe. not becoz i have some artistic instince, but i like the feeling and sensation when u r playing the instrument, whatever it is... when u r bored or upset u can just take out ur instrument and play and have fun, and the kind sense of achievement when u flawlessly finished playing a song or what ever... i have this virtual orchestra studio (vos) in my laptop, and i played quite well on it... hehe, easy ones lah, but i found ones like 星空 and canon nicer, though they r more difficult... but playing these on a computer keyboard is not fulfilling enough.... wish i know how to play piano. my neighbour upstairs is practicing now...

still cannot get dialed-up... probabaly will put it up tml.

my mum likes the puzzle bubble in my laptop, hehe

my mum counted an odd number of socks from the washing machine... while she was busy looking for the lost one, i took the time to write all these nonsense...

my birthday cake sort of became sour and i have to throw half of the unfinished portion away... my dad refused to put in the fridge... haiya, my 18th birthday cake, ended up in the dustbin... hope it's not my 18th year of life

变

是你变了吗？我的影子笑我的人好傻... （无印良品）

你变了，似乎就成了分手的原因。

可是，有谁没有变呢？

谁也说不清是谁先变了。

我们改变了态度而接纳了对方，我们委屈了自己成全谁的梦想... （那英）

我们改变了自己来迎接爱情，又因为自己的改变而放弃。

人可以变，沧海桑田可以给人画上时间的痕迹，

这颗心，又是否改变？


思念

如果时间能把我们的思念稀释了
从此以后互不相干各自爱着别的人
只要不遇见忽然下雨的清晨
在起床的时候 会莫名的失神... （萧亚轩）

思念一个人，就好比看着天上的风筝

觉得遥不可及，却又有一条细细的线连着。

剪不断，理还乱。

想放飞，却舍不得剪断绳子，害怕从此一去，就没有再见的机会。

想收回，却舍不得放风筝的快乐。

风筝，只有飞在天上，又看得见的地方，才是最美丽的。

就象思念一样美丽...


失恋

醒来只有我一个人
分不清黄昏或清晨
空气微冷有甚么在流失慢慢降温
一颗心往下沉
毕竟只是太短的梦
彼此终于退回陌生
我加上你两个人并不等于我们... （王力宏）

有人说，失恋让一个男孩变成男人。

至于女孩，不知道。

或许，恋爱让一个女孩变成女人？

失恋是幸运的，

总比吊在半空中好。

心里踏实...


初恋

你真的忘得了你的初恋情人吗？
假如 有一天，
你遇到了跟他长得一模一样的人。
他真的就是他吗？还有可能吗？
这是命运的宽容，
还是一次不怀好意的玩笑？... （张信哲）

总是在回想那时青涩的滋味，

那份最纯的感情，

懵懵懂懂的冲动，

青春的脉搏...


相遇

我遇见谁 会有怎样的对白
我等的人 他在多远的未来... (孙燕姿）

你曾对我说 相逢是首歌
眼睛是春天的海 青春是绿色的河
相逢是首歌 同行是你和我
心儿是年轻的太阳 真诚也活泼
相逢是首歌 歌手是你和我
心儿是永远的琴弦 坚定也执着... (俞静，相逢是首歌）

缘起缘灭

每一次的相逢，都要好好珍惜

不要留下遗憾


离别

雾中的机场
人来又人往
有人焦急等待
有人送走所爱
雾中的机场
模糊的泪光
而我 只是默默离开... （张信哲）

伤离别，离别虽然在眼前
说再见，再见不会太遥远
若有缘，有缘就能期待明天
你和我，重逢在灿烂的季节... （张学友）

人生有聚就有散

人可以散

心不一定散

只是，我们缺乏坚持的勇气

少了对爱的信仰与执著...

我们一次又一次的飞走
是为了一次又一次的回来... （泰戈尔，飞鸟集）


宽容

我说我想要找个避风的港湾
谢谢你 陪我到任何地方
你的宽容
还有我温柔的包容
没有泪的夜晚是天堂... （张信哲）

究竟是爱一个人比较难

还是恨一个人？

差不多吧。

最难的还是那份宽容，

无论是为了爱，还是为了恨。

爱的反义词不是恨，

而是无动于衷，让你感到你累了

不想继续了，无论你付出了多少，

无论你们曾经多么的深爱着对方...


寂寞

多想要向过去告别　
当季节不停更迭　oh~
却还是少一点坚决　
在这寂寞的季节... （陶喆）

有人害怕

有人喜欢

有时讨厌

有时希望

这

寂寞的滋味

寂寞和孤单是不一样的
孤单只是一种形式上的存在
没有人陪
而寂寞不同
是一种心理状态
一个人可以孤单，但他不一定寂寞
一个人可以寂寞，但他不一定孤单
他就生活在这个大千世界，茫茫人群中
又有谁
可以去填补这寂寞的心灵？

　　南洋女中参加直通车的方案，一直迟迟未能确定，结果在这项“优秀生大抢夺”的行动中，被人占了先机。她们总共46名优秀生，已经“蝉过别枝”，被莱佛士女中和国初欣然录取。

　　南洋女中每个年级有学生420名，这46名今年中二成功过关斩将“跳槽”的女生，肯定是其中的佼佼者。这超过10%的人才流失，不可说不惨痛。

　　幸好10天前，南洋女中及时宣布了明年与华中学院合开直通车课程的消息。这个消息也许无法挽回已经萌生离异的心，但是总算亡羊补牢，堵住未来人才流失的缺口。

　　just some para from zaobao, hehe, don't know what the ny people will think after reading this

haiyo, anyone can tell me what is wrong with my tagboard?

my mum is coming back today from guangzhou by 11pm. my dad got his 应酬 outside in the eveing.
consequence: i have to 解决晚饭 on my own...

so, where shall i eat? considered mcdonald's... mcdonald's not very nice in china, and there isn't an outlet near my home, so sorry, wlh, hehe

kfc? there's an outlet right outside my home... haiyo, but quite expensive. a meal can reach 20 plus rmb... though converting to singapore dollar still considered cheap, but why let the americans get the profit?

hehe, then decided to support our 民族饮食业. i went to one small small restaurant on the other side of the road and ordered 一两馄沌，二两小笼包。haha, xx must be jealous when she reads me eating 小笼包. guess how much? 6.8rmb, hehe, that's 1.5 singapore dollar... and i'm very full... and the food really delicious...

i found out today that there's a channel showing 冬季恋歌 in the morning. hehe, at least i'll get up early everyday to watch that. then in the aftertoon i can watch 金粉世家, and shall be online in the evening... then left no time for my homework and sat... did some chem yesterday, then i realised i forgot to bring my chem tys home.... oops, then i was so discouraged that i just gave up...

the tv programmes are boring. i was practically focusing on the sports channel... except watching 金粉世家 on cctv1, hehe, i used to watch mtv programmes but they are gone... hehe, but proud to say the ads in china are much less than those on channel 8.

anyways... shared some of the mtvs and videos on my com to my dad... he seemed not interested at all. doesn't he recognise they are funny? hmm, generation gap.

yups, in my opinion, 周杰伦只会唱歌，不会说话。
for my father, 周杰伦只会说话，不会唱歌。to him rap is 说话...

haha, who believes it?

天蝎射手座：变革的交界


　　天蝎射手座：变革的交界

　　11/19-11/24

　　黄道宫位置：天蝎座26度-射手座3度

　　季节：秋末

　　元素：水、火

　　主宰行星：冥王星、火星及木星

　　象征符号：蝎子、弓箭手

　　理解事物的方式：感觉、直觉

　　天蝎射手是由黄道十二宫中的第八宫天蝎和第九宫射手组合而成的。天蝎深沉、严肃、神秘的特性，加上直觉、外向、爱好自由的射手性格，使天蝎射手的人习于先了解自己，再进一步推展行动。天蝎射手象征人生的56岁，这个时候人生会发生无可避免的改变，因为这个区间代表变革，象征的是人生另一个新纪元的开端。例如退休来临、伴侣或亲友的生离死别、生理机能退化等等。

　　同时，这一周出生的人会对其他人类付出更大的关怀，更关心世界性、全球性的事务(宗教或精神层面都有)。另外，许多人到了这个年纪，会懊悔许多事情曾经想做却未付诸实行，于是将此刻视为最后的一次机会。

　　此外，天蝎射手的人具有革命家的精神，只要一直没发生重大的改变，他们就会急于彻底变革。然而，并不是所有的革命家都具备开阔的视野、领导风气的理想；有不少人权斗士心中其实渴望成为万众仰望的独裁者，这种人一旦掌握权力，往往又会被另一次革命赶下台。此外，他们反对散漫、坏脾气、缺乏效率、愚笨、过时以及疲乏的态度，虽然擅于推翻古老的神话，但对他们认为有用的神话，也一样能擅加发扬、保存。所以，他们的内心可能隐藏着传统的守旧思想，只是没有外现罢了。

　　因为鄙视中庸的做事态度、中产阶级的道德理念，天蝎射手的人大都宁愿不是大富大贵，就是一贫如洗；不是贵族，就是劳工阶级的英雄，不愿置身于两者之间，当个普通的平民。这种追求极端的欲望，容易使他们过度投入于理想的追逐中，有时还会影响到生活中各个层面。

　　天蝎射手的人很早就意识到自己与众不同，他们是一种很特殊的矛盾综合体：结合了天蝎柔弱敏感的特质，以及射手强烈爱好自由的天性。因此，他们可能在家中比较沉默孤单，从小就开始评估自己的实力，为成功做准备。他们的梦想和决心，表现在规划未来、建构宏伟的新计画，以及获得可观的成就中。因为着重目标和结果，这一周出生的人在交友或选择终生伴侣时也会很顽固、倔强，总是要求对方不断地投入热情。

　　笑声是天蝎射手的人心情的最佳表征。只要开始谈话没多久不见他们笑，就表示一定有问题。他们擅长以尖酸的讽刺嘲笑敌人，甚至偶尔矛头也会指向至亲好友，不过，他们对自己却有双重标准，不太能接受别人的嘲弄，认为这是有意的羞辱，侵犯到他们的人格。因此，他们从不愿忍受任何一次嘲笑。

　　道德观念对他们而言非常重要。他们总是尽量诚实，但偶尔也有做不到的时候；要求自己务必诚恳待人，但总是无法达成这个目标。他们发现，要对身边的人完完全全诚实，其实非常不容易办到；所以，有时也会隐瞒部份事实，但一旦被揭露了真相，又会觉得十分狼狈、懊悔不已。幸好，他们无可否认的魅力，加上善意、真诚的态度，最后总能令爱他们的人不念旧恶地原谅他们。

　　天蝎射手的人在面对最严厉的批评时，也是充满胆量。他们专门对不可碰触的议题发出禁忌的议论，不但不怕强权，反倒藉此展示出自己的实力。但其实他们颇擅于协调，能屈能伸。他们本能的直觉，在充足的自信心下发挥得淋漓尽致；依靠理智反而令他们感到困惑和混乱。

　　天蝎射手的人非常重视友谊，朋友对他们的好，他们可是一丝一毫也不会忘记。他们相当清楚金钱的力量，但绝不会为了钱，委屈自己跟不欣赏的人共事。另一方面，他们与朋友之间的关系，对他们而言也相当重要，无论是男性或女性，只要是和令他们愉悦的人共事，他们往往就会表现出傲人的成绩。而且，他们会将工作伙伴视为家人般。

　　天蝎射手的人在感情上并不稳定。年轻的时候，狂野的冒险精神使他们的恋爱对象一换再换，总是三不五时就看到他们身边的恋人又换人了；然而，他们对于每一段感情都曾费心经营，也都会做下天老地荒的承诺。他们之中的某些人会在年纪渐长时才开始寻找固定伴侣，但又会发现这种新关系使他们倍受束缚，反而回头渴望从前的自由；而早婚者则希望追寻所谓的现代婚姻，允许双方自由生活。建议最好彼此分开一段时间，借着时空的交隔，往往能满足他们对自由的需求，嫉妒和口角也能因此减到最少。

　　他们的情人或另一半会见识到他们强烈的性欲，充满热情，甚至具征服性。他们不只在工作或游戏中勇往直前，在性事上也是如此。虽然他们也有甜蜜、感性的一面，但是对性爱的要求，肉欲和快感仍然凌驾于温柔、敏感之上。

　　优点：陶醉、忠诚、有胆量

　　缺点：独裁、嘲讽、狂野

　　建议遵循自己对人生的看法，但是也别和社会脱节。保持自己诚恳、纯粹的心态，培养客观观察能力以看清自己的生活。试着多原谅别人，占有欲不要太强。

　　情侣：白羊座一、白羊座三、金牛座三、天秤天蝎座、射手魔羯座、魔羯座三、魔羯水瓶座、水瓶座二

　　夫妻：金牛座二、巨蟹座二、天蝎座一、双鱼座二

　　朋友：双鱼白羊座、白羊金牛座、金牛座一、巨蟹狮子座、狮子座三、处女座二、处女天秤座、天蝎座三、射手座一、射手座二、魔羯座二、水瓶座三、双鱼座一、双鱼座三

　　家人：双子座一、巨蟹座一、狮子座一、狮子处女座、天秤座一

　　同事：双子巨蟹座、巨蟹座三、处女座一、处女座三、天秤座二、天蝎座二、射手座三、魔羯座一、水瓶座一

hmm, tried to do some homework. but realised i've forgot many concepts and methods... esp the curve sketching... luckily there's a graphic calculator programme in my laptop.

my pa has gone to sleep. just started doing holiday assignment. then cannnot resist to be online.

i'll take the operation in the later half of next week, as i have to wait for my mum to come back. actually i don't quite care. just small one, then go back to hospital for check for 3 days, 1 hour a time, then after 10 days they'll 拆线. but my pa said better have someone to look after me (definitely not him, of course), then i have to wait for my mum.

whenever i come online my pa will say i'm meeting some girls, or too eager to receive some e-mail, etc... haiyo, can't he understand i'm just bored, and coming online has become a routine of mine? well, i'm waiting for an e-mail, that's true, but... i don't think that person will dare to ever write to me... haha, nvm. for today my pa is practically following me everywhere i go, especially in my home, form living room, to my own room, to the study... sheesh. even i'm replying e-mail or chatting or writing my blog sometimes... and i just cannot ask him to shun away... luckily he couldn't understand english... er... but still very uncomfortable. it's ok for him to know something, but he's just pressing too much. and the more he presses, the more reluctant i'm going to talk. i need my own freedom, my own space, my own privacy.

anyways... i'm more tilted to my mum's side. but she's away...

haha, and sorry to xx... forgot girls are most sensitive about their ages... hmmm, how to 补救？ haiya, 麻烦。最近比较烦。

yups, people. i shall undergo a small operation next week... and probably another 10 days for complete heal. hehe, don't worry. no life danger, no plastic surgery, just to make the future better. meanwhile i'll still be able to be online, but maybe less often, i think

18

i shall be cutting my birthday cake in one hour's time.

only my father will be by my side then. my mum's still in 深圳

anyway. happy birthday!

what birthday wish shall i make?

good a-level result? offer of scholarship for university? getting into a steady relationship? a tour in Tibet? a journey to mars, which is supposed to be the origin of men?

i hope that time will stop moving the moment i blow my candles off. i will be always 18. xx will always be 19, jh and xy will always be 16, and ming, mich, khai, cc, moo, anli etc will always be 17. we'll always be living in our teenage. we'll always be after our promos but before j2. we'll always be in the time when we can enjoy, without worrying for the future.

我们就可以一直生活在这个没有忧伤，只有快乐，没有迷惑，只有欢笑，没有烦恼，只有喜悦的时间里。

我真的希望能这样。

不过，有人说，生日的愿望是不能说出来的，不让就不灵了。

看来，我的这个愿望也是难以实现了。

天蠍座11月21日运程 天蝎座 Scorpio (10/24 - 11/22)




☉综合运势：★★★★

☉爱情运势：★★★

☉工作状况：★★★★

☉理财投资：★★★★

☉健康指数：82%

☉商谈指数：88%

☉Lucky Color：橘色

☉Lucky Number：2　

☉速配星座：射手座



小小的幸运持续着，多与人交流谈话可延续这个幸运状态。

今天也是学习的好日子，参加讲习、研讨会等都很不错。如果有在外国的友人，今天也可跟他们联络一下，都能得到好资讯呢。另外，今天金钱运也很不错哟，有收到礼物或是以非常便宜的价格买到好东西的可能。

haha, received an overseas msg from my junior saying happy birthday to me! and even icq sent me a card, hehe, stupid lah. but really, 今天心情阴转晴, haha, so is the weather. shall take a walk later outside.

i think i've found my way to view my blog: get to see the preview at the blogger

今天是我十七岁的最后一天了
没有即将成人的喜悦
只有一丝淡淡的忧郁
就好像窗外的天气
一片阴霾
灰色的云
遮住了红红的太阳
和蓝蓝的天
留给人们的
只有无限的压抑

十六岁是花季
十七岁是雨季
我的十八岁，开始
大约在冬季

似水的时间
稀释不了我对你的想念
腐蚀不了我对你的眷恋
换回的，却是我们之间
一根若有若无的丝线
一碰，就断了
甚至没等到我们发现

是我选择了放弃
是我选择了逃避
没有星星的夜里
你为我哭泣
没有太阳的白天
我为自己叹息

晚了晚了
这一点微弱的星光
也已被城市的霓虹淹没
那一些真情的流露
被伪善的面具赶走
每一次相爱机会
都被你我错过
每一个疏远彼此的小动作
却总是被对方捕获

到我们相遇的那一天
我们或许会发现
我们甚至不是互不相交的平行线
而是不在同一平面
的两条skew lines
年复一年
让后悔的花
在脑海里开遍。

my mum just went out for 深圳. 5 days. my dad got 应酬 tonight, so... hehe, most probably i'll have to 解决 my dinner on my own. easy lah, just get some rice and dishes and put them in microwave...

stay at home today. did not follow my dad coz basically cannot study at his office with the temptation of broadband. but realised that at home it's still the same. got tv. very tempted to flip though the papers, diaries and etc in the secondary school life in china. but could be quite uncomfortable. coz it's full of the shadow of that one.

anyway hope i can do some homework later on. the dial-up sound is very strange. hehe, anyone who calls our home now will hear beeps indicating the phone is busy. hope my dad and mum r not calling now

still cloudy and rainly. haven't seen the sun yet.

watched nba, dull game. hmmm.

and discovered yesterday the bad relationship between my 爷爷 and 奶奶。 they are all seventy and above lor, but still quarreling. my 奶奶 got 离家出走。sheesh. don't know what they are doing. ten years ago they were arguing for divorce some more... i've seen enough bad examples from my father's family... i'm trying to avoid them, but who know? i just belong to the family too.

snap shot 1:

in the morning, before breakfast, stepped up to the weight balance

reading: 60

reading yesterday: 57.5

reaction: sream, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

aftermath: found an 0 error (+2kg), and my new jacket got 500 gram

hehe, i'm online again.

bye... bye... bye... hopefully u can see me online again tomorrow evening, hehe, then i'll be talking to u from thousands of kilometers away...

returned from chalet. tried to sleep. cannot. try to eat. don't have food and lunch's in one hour's time.

anyway, i haven't tried sleeping for 6 hours in 2 days, but it's so shuang

but i felt bad after the chalet. it's not because the chalet was bad... it was pretty well. but the semtiment of parting away.
indeed, when xiaoxuan and her gang left at 7:40, i wondered that this would probabaly the last time we are seeing each other for the year 2003... and the next one and half months will be boring without the accompanyship of my dear classmates. i felt lonely. when i go back in china, all my friends are in different cities by now... what a one and half month holiday am i going to spend?

dunno.

as i will probably not be able to go online tml, i here wish everyone in 34 a great holiday and enjoy urselves. i'll miss u all mcuh in china... better check again whether my father has finished applying for internet in my room

finally, pw is over

yesterday was not bad, at least i think

so, what am i going to do? meeting my srp mentor tml morning, and go for the chalet in the afternoon.

i'll be staying overnight, hehe, coz my clustermaster never check attendance properly, can my roommate can cover up for me... anyway it's holiday now, so who cares?

today is nov 13th. special day... because something special happend on this day five years ago. that was the first time i had kind of... group dating? no, just outing lah. but she was there... yups, that was after exams... hehe, guess it'll take quite a long time for me to forget this date.

but anyway, time seems to be the best cure. the sentences i exchanged with her in the later half of the year can be counted with ur both hands. haven't received any msgs of calls also. hehe, and i'm reminiscing less and less, and my life becomes happier and more energetic thanks to my friends. i did observed her sometimes, but it just conviced me that she's not kind of girl i want for a steady relationship. we r attracted because of our differences. we are misled by the 'mysterious' outlook in our own eys. and when the cover is peeled off and the truth surfaced... yups, the time will ultimately come.

yups, she does not make me feel i'm needed. according to the 'men mars, women venus book', men are motivated and enpowered when they feel they are needed. and vice versa, i don't think i really make her feel cherished. i tried, but i failed.

anyway, i have a few words for my group members (hehe, but only one will see)

i'm not a good leader. and i really appreciate ur help and cooperation. i think i sometimes just try to reinforce my own idea into the object but not considerig ur opinions, and i must say sorry. and half way through the project i indeed felt i could not cope, coz i somehow feel i'm alone in the project. i complained to myself that it could be better that i can single-handedly do the project. hehe, but later i realised that ur presence are really precious. expecially towards the end and everyone is so enthu about the project, making me think that our group should be one of the best, really.

really, a big thanks.

and to hc049

u r the source of power for our group. haha, ur pressure on us really spur us to be efficient and dilligent and catch up as much as possible. and the way u did ur pw really inspired me, and i personally don't think i have the ability to united and create such a cohesive group. really, u did have fun working together... the fun can never be achieved in other groups. and u really helps us, letting us to refer to ur wr and sharing us ur op. we are indeed lucky to have a group like yours in our class.

pw was ok today... printed a lot of stuff. 15 minutes, another copy of written report, oral scripts. wanted also to print out op layout, but short of paper... let kenny do it, hehe, anyway it'll be me numbering all the pages... hehe, somehow i fell numbering the pages is a duty of mine, and i won't be happy if anyone takes the job from me... did i say the same thing before on this blog? hehe, it has become my faith somehow.

slacked as usual. i'm running out of paper catons for my packing. went to coronation just now to collect some, but no big ones, so came back empty handed. shall try again tml, maybe early in the morning...

hehe, people, have to start planning for the chalet! maybe we can have this food com, game com, vcd com, etc, then we won't be too bored during the chalet, haha

started packing up yesterday afternoon. by now all the books on the shelves had been gone. hehe, still considering bringing some books home to read. i've got a good one, titled 'why do people hate america', haha, so chim...

anyway, packing up was fun. realised i threw many things. i threw away tchs' 99 and 00 year books... so sad. i've been bring them along for 3 years... but so much has changed, and they're damned heavey. hehe, but the 02 year book is still with me...

and also my english tys, haha, remembered then i was fearing failing my english at o-level and kept the tys so that i can revise if i have to do o-level english again at J1, hehe, so stupid. also remembered last year throw many books and notes to my juniors, hehe, maybe they're throwing them away this year. hope they're not throwing the ss ones, they're reall nice written...

and now i'm having problems with the magzines. i have three shoe boxes of them, including all my sec 4 issues of time, newsweek and the world & I. what a pity if i throw them away, but anyway i don't think i'm going to read them any more.. haiya. somebody help me with an idea leh.

will be having a pw meeting at 10. not the last time, definitely. i'm thinking of wednesday itself we stay back and tidy up the gpf. of course some other things have to be done in the evening and some more pages may have to be printed. but anyway... but thursday 8 a.m we should be saying bye bye to pw liao.

haha, and of course i'll be during the numbering of pages. that'll be very late. nvm, but i really think it's my work, and i won't be happy if some one take this job from me, haha.

thought of many things to write down. but not here. not now, when they are cutting the grass outside with the annoying noise... maybe after pw, maybe when i am in china... it's not about me, hehe, so don't worry.

finished reading dreamcatcher! finally. hehe, actually couldn't wait and read the ending first beforehand. hmm, considering packing my belongings... firstly have to get the room messy, and u can get all the sense of achievement when u finish packing them into fix or six paper catons.

hehe, the chinese can be displayed now

remembered yesterday fenniu shouted '你到底有几双鞋' to me. well. that pair was bought 348 days ago. but i only wear them when i play basketball... so u don't have a chance to see...

stupid hanshen on school's com, typed chinese cannot be displayed. hope to correct it later.

had nothing to do. copied from kq's

Starting time: 9.40am
2. nicknames? flying
3. b~day? 21/11/85
4. Age: 17years11months17days
5. Sex: male
6. Social Security: nope
7. Where were you born? 安徽歙县,china
8. where you live now: singapore
9. Zodiac sign: Scorpio
10. What grade are you in and what school do you attend? j1 hcjc
12. siblings and their ages? none
13. do you get along: affirmative
14. Pets: none
15. Righty or Lefty: right
16. bedtime: 11.30(70%), 10.30(25%)1-3(5%)
17. Email: zhoux_george@hotmail.com
18. Hair color: black
19. Eye color: black
20. Do you wear contacts or glasses?glasses
21. Do you have any piercings? no
22. tattoos: no
23. scars: no
24. Height: 1.7+
25. Do you wear any rings: no
26. What shoes do you wear: adidas
27. drove a car: no
28. met someone new: no
29. done laundry: yes
31. wore a skirt: wish can
32. How are you today? quite ok
33. wearing: sch u
34. thinking about: blog
35. What does your hair look like at the moment? soso
36. What song are you listening to right now? none
37. What was the last thing you ate and/or drank? melo
38. How is the weather right now? cool
39. Last person u talked to on the phone: songsong? for pw
40. watching: the monitor
41. what time is it: 9.46


*****DO YOU BELIEVE IN ******
42. yourself: is innerself myself?
43. friends: some
44. best friends of the opposite sex: sure
45. santa claus: try to, since it is supposed to give free gifts
46. tooth fairy: no
47. angels: no
48. ghosts: no
49. aliens: yes
50. God: no


*******MORE ABOUT YOU!*******
51. what are the last four digits of ur phone number? 0795
52. Do you like the person who sent this to you? hehe, how can i say no?
53. how do you eat an Oreo? 60% stuff whole thing, 40% disintegrate, eat the piece without the cream side, hoping there's someone i can give the piece with the cream. realising there's no one. finish it
54. If you were a crayon what color would you be? blue hehe, why crayon?
55. Have you ever almost died: thought of suicide.
56. What's the best advice ever given to you? look ahead, not reminisce any more
57. Have you ever won any special award? not considered special by me
58. Do you like to dance? yeah, but poorly
59. Worst sickness you've ever had? chicken pox lah
60. What's the stupidest thing you have ever done? love a person who doesn't like me any more... but love is not considered stupid right?
61. What's the next CD you are going to buy: buy a CD player first
62. What sport you hate the most: swimming
63. Place for a dream house: seldomly dream
64. How many kids do you want to have? 2-3?
65. Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone:sprain both ankle, both 2 times
66. Who do you tell your dreams to: my innerself?
67. What are you most scared of? loneliness? another 50% chances i like it
68. How many tv's do you have in your house? 1/18 in my cluster
69. Do you have your own? no
70. do you have your own phone line? no
71. do you sleep with a stuffed animal? no
72. Are you a flirty person? i think not
73. Are you shy? in a new enviroment
74. Are you outgoing? depends on the situation.
75. Who is the loudest friend you have? i know. don't want to say lah
76. Who is the quietest friend you have? one of my junior, hehe, u don't know anyway
77. Who looks the worst in the morning: me?
78. Who's the messiest eater: me
79. Who's the slowest eater: i eat so fast that i can't stay back to know who's the slowest
80. Who's the bossiest: dunno
81. Who is the 'mom' outta your friends: dunno
82. who are the top 3 hottest guys/girls u know: i'm not the judge for 'r u hot'!!
83. who's the weirdest: me
84. who is the funnest: poor me, dunno how to appreciate fun
85. who do you go to for advice?: innerself
86. who do you think about most when you're not happy? hf? the makes me even more pathetic
87. who do you cry with? my pillow
88. what's the best feeling in the world? emptiness
89. when's the last time you cried: i shed one drop of tear this morning when i was lying on bed
90. is cheerleading a sport? more entertainment
91. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? never tried
92. Which came first the chicken or the egg: chicken
93. Root Beer or Dr. Pepper: root beer
94. vanilla or chocolate: vanilla
95. Love or lust: love
96. silver or gold: gold
97. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?: no
98. What's your favorite color: blue
99. What's your favorite band/singer: dunno
100. What do you dream about: seldomly dream
101. Favorite song? 我是一只小小鸟
102. Do you like to sing in the shower: yes
103. Had an imaginary friend: maybe
104. Wanted to "hook up" with a friend: no
105. Cried during a movie: almost
106. Had a crush on a teacher: no
107. What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?: is kq at ct bench already?


*****Preference*****
108. Sleep on your back, stomach or side: side
109. Adidas, Nike, or Reeboks?: adidas
110. Croutons or Bacon Bits?: bacon bits
111. 2 doors or 4 (on a car)?: 2
112. Bridges or Tunnels? bridges
113. One pillow or two?: 2
114. Salt or butter flavored popcorn?: butter
115. Fizzy or still water?: still
116.Red wine or white wine?: red


*****Word Association - (1st Thing That Comes To Mind)*****
117. Rubber Gloves: dirty
118. Disney Character: micky mouse
119. Fast Food place: macdonalds
120. Board Game: dunno
121. Rock: roll
122. Blue: scorpio
123. Wet: dry
124. Cry: sadness
125. Peanut Butter: toast
126. Hay: barn
127. Paper: ink
128. Wood: forest
129. Yellow: porn
130. Laugh: happy
131. Ugly: evil
132. Happy: laugh


******YOU AND LOVE******
133. Do you believe in love? how can i not?
134. Do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? no
135. do you have a crush? yar
136. who is your crush? hehe, why tell u?
138. do you believe in love at first sight? no
139. What song do you want played at your wedding: ?秋日私语?
140. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: my wife lah
141. Do you find yourself attractive: no
142. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? overall impression
143. are you too shy to ask someone out? always


*****When was the last time you...*****
205. Took a shower: yesterday
206. Watched Bambi: ever watched?
207. Got a real letter: last year
208. Wished upon a star: got meh?
209. Asked someone for forgiveness: 5 months ago
210. Hugged someone: too long ago can't remember
211. Kissed someone: never, except my parents
212. Ate something: 2 hr ago
213. Called someone: yesterday


*******What is your...*******
214. Good luck charm: malimalihong?
215. Bedroom like: messy and cool
216. Favorite Breakfast food: 小笼包
217. Favorite lunch food: anything delicious
218. Best thing that happened to you today: got up thought it was ten plus but was actually 7.15


*****What do you think about the following*****
219. Abortion: sad thing
220. Homosexuality: acceptable
221. Rap: eminem
222. Classical: eternal
223. Oldies: experienced
224. Swing: childhood


**********PICK ONE: THIS OR THAT**********
225. lights on/off: off
226. sun or rain or snow? snow
227. mickey D's (McDonalds) or BK (burger king): BK
228. do you like scary movies or happy movies better?scary
229. backstreet boys or NSYNC? westlife?
230. on the phone or in person: in person
231. summer or winter: winter
232. chocolate or white milk: white milk
233. CD or tape: CD
234. hugs or kisses: hug, then kiss
235. cake or pie: pie
236. cats or dogs: woodchuck
237. mud or jello wrestling? jello
238. skiing or boarding? skiing
239. day or night? night
240. sunset or sunrise: sunset
241. diamond or pearls: pearls


*******YOUR FAVES*******
242. candy: dark chocolate
243. Beverage: Qoo
244. cartoon characters: conan
245. sport(s): badminton
246. Song: same as above
247. favorite actor or actress?: none
248. Favourite movie: 不可不信缘
249. tv show: shi zi lu kou
250. Favourite food: dumplings made by myself
251. ice cream: vanila
252. subject: chem
253. shampoo: head & shoulders
254. favourite month: november
255. favourite number: 5
256. favourite person to talk to online: as long as u talk to me u r my favourite


******HAVE YOU EVER******
257. cut your hair yourself: no
258. been on stage: yes
260. Ever thought an animated character was hot: no
261. kept a secret from everyone: many
262. been hurt emotionally: yes
263. been in a car accident: had bicycle accident
264. put a body part on fire for amusement: stupid
265. drank: yes, but not drunk
266. smoked: no
267. broke the law? no
268. ran from the cops: no
269. made yourself cry to get outta trouble: no
270. tried to kill yourself? mentally
271. made your self throw up? no
272. ever been in love: yups...
273. loved someone so much it made you cry: yes...
Finishing Time: 10.16pm

had an exchange programme with HC049 yesterday afternoon. hehe initially feared couldn't bring kenny into hostel. but quite ok. realised our efficiency is higher when working in vicinity with the such an efficient group like HC049. hehe and hope michelle has finished numbering all the pages.

op rehearsal was ok. at least everyone can get within the 5 minutes... can slow down the pace during the actual thing. and zengwei is of course the poor guy...

handed in s-paper form just now. physics and chem.

went to toa payoh again yesterday. the exams are over and the kids just play play. not good with kids i am. maybe my father also had such problem when i was young? hehe, i'm such a fatherly figure.

anyway... supposed to have an exchange programme with 049 this afternoon. the trouble is now how to get kenny in. last night i asked my clustermaster who is also a staff at boarding school. but the time is not right, he said. coz he will be out this afternoon, or he can just bring kenny in. now, have to later go to office to check with the staff there... if cannot then how? go chinese high?

and last night this question poped up in my mind: why hostel? today is friday and we can just guang ming zheng da go school to discuss...... hehe, but the idea seemed so natural then.

yesterday also watched the bachelor. stupid andrew. did he sleep with all three women using his dull trick? dunno. anyway reality tvs is not real. they are edited and u never know what the full picture is. somehow i feel that the women accepted to stay overnight not because they want to, but they think they have to as they assume that their competitors will be doing or have done the same thing. and andrew just take the advantage of that. hehe, chauvinist show, coz no women will resist the rose, anyway.

still dunno who on earth 'sky' is.

nvm. yesterday was fantastic. slack the whole afternoon. later went toa payoh for tuition. hehe, the kids very cute, as usual, but found the atmosphere there quite slack also, not like before. went back to catch my junior watching dvd of matrix reloaded. the show ended at 12 midnight. then... since i pledged to do some tutorial and because of the impact of matrix reloaded, i did the matrices 3 tutorial! yeah! spend 3 hours coz always copy the matrices wrongly from the tys and spend a lot of time checking such errors. haiya, or else couldn't get the stupid eigenvectors and eigenvalues. those questions are just mechanical, but tedious.

woke up 5:30, surprisingly not tired. and i have not felt tired or sleepy until now... but nvm, i'll pay the sleep back some day.

s-papers. appealing for 3 s-papers? no. don't want that much trouble. anyway what's use of 3 s-papers? better spend more time on gp to get a distinction A-level. much effort is needed to boost a B to an A anyway. i spend the whole sec 4 in chinese high to improve my english from b3 to a2, compared to the half year taken to improve from c6 to b3... hehe, the gp result is similar to my english result in sec3: end of year b3, overall b4. not bad. hehe, but if i've got b3 overall i'll appeal for 3 s-papers liao. why not? since they say that at the briefing. but a b4... nvm, forget it. can't be bothered.

anyway, as most boys at my age does, i don't like the words like 'appeal', 'beg', etc. if u get it, u r on, if u don't, try next time, or next round, or next etc...

school ended really early today. haha. decided to do the following after signing off from net
1 matrices 3 tutorial
2 pw- gpf content page, minutes, etc
3 other holiday assignment so that won't bring homework to china.

i'm reaching the exciting part in 'Dreamcatcher'. not that disgusting as zhenhua has commented, but really fascinating. very psychological thing.

played sanguo 9 for the last two days. united this continent, hehe. so engrossed in the game. stupid lah. tidied up pw today. realised it's not thin, and some stuff is with the members. nvm, will get a thicker one tml, at least make the file looks thicker.