china vs korea

iran defeated korea 4:3, and japan won the penalty shoot out over Jordan. the shameful japanese. after missing their first two penalties, their coach got angry and requested the referee to change the goal for the penalty shoot out. and the referee agreed! result? the next three Jordanians hit the crossbar twice and goalpost once, sending japan into semi-finals... bleh... wth...

Friday and Saturday

China successfully proceeded into the Asian Football Cup semi-finals after beating Iraq 3-0. poor iraqi team. their goalkeeper was sent off in the last minute and they'd used up all their 3 subsitutions, so the goalkeeper had to take off his jersy and let one defender to take over... haix, quite a chaotic game, as the players nearly broke into a gang fight. the referee sux.

China's semi-final opponent will be either korea of iran... bleh. both supposed to be 克星 for china. china has not won over korean for the past 30 years... bleh... hopefully they can break this record this time.

anyway, the japanese team was not welcomed this time round, hehe. the fans in chongqing set up posters writing ‘钓鱼岛是中国的’，and ‘日本人滚回去’.

today was the homecoming carnival. it rained in the morning and we had to move into the audi for the opening ceremony. played with balloons for a while, to test how many balloons can lift up zengwei's watch, and later try to find an equilibrium postition. and as we sit high up in the audi, we can retrieve the balloons after releasing them, as the ceiling is so low.... hehe.

early in the morning the carnival t-shirt was out of stock... wow... such overwhelming response... haix, felt a bit lonely in the see of orange.

patronized our juniors' dumpling store and pooled 5 bucks on 10 dumplings. hehe, really not bad dumpling, though it was so expensive. haix, if they make dumplings on the spot i might probably join them. every time i went back to china home made dumplings were one of the meals i wanted very much to have. eat my self-made dumplings, hehe. so good.

and played a game at the choir store and got a 镜框, hehe, guess one of the choir people donate his own lah, coz i think it worth much more money than the 4 bucks i payed for the game. well, i didn't felt like using the coupons, but i have to use them up, anyway it's my own money... and wanted to play lan games at a409, but couldn't get someone to go up with me and play together. so forgot about it.

next monday shall be holiday and tuesday will be money time table. not bad, considering tuesday was supposed to be our longest day. and HOLY finished chem s paper session on friday, though apparently nobody bothered to do her 'homework' and only one people from 78 turned up for the session. bleh, guess i just 有始有终 to be there. but i think she gave quite a few funny and unreasonable or can't-be-explained ideas. apparently the halogenation of tertiary alcohol is an Sn1 reaction. bleh... anyway it ended quite early. chem s paper was the only s paper not listed in the prelim time table. wat is chem department trying to do?

missed dinner

pray pray it rains tml morning

it... rained again this afternoon. haix, i think 老天爷 really don't treat songsong well lah. everytime he brings pe attire it rains天若用情，你也可以把眼泪洒在其他时候，洒在更需要的地方呀。比如说你可以明天早上下雨，这样我就可以多睡上两个钟头。又比如说拜四可以不下雨，免得我们玩无聊的呼拉圈。
 
今天在《青年文摘》上读到了一片文章，突然之间问自己，我是不是一直在做那片反光镜呢？
 
i really enry the j1s. they got miss quek to lecture them. i think if all physics tutors are like her, physics won't be so dreadful to some of us.  haix. so sad she's only lecturing may be only 4 s paper sessions?

After all, we are all for the goodness of the class

For these two days, i've been repeatedly asking myself: wat am i doing all these for?

i'm not on the school admin's side. i'm not on my own benefits. i, too, would like to pay the 5 dollars through coupons.

i thought i was doing this for the sake of the class.

my assumptions: If we don't hand in the money, the mighty haven will continuous bug us. maybe the teacher in charge will just break into the classroom and shout at us? that's the worst senario. my most foundamental assumption is that the school is very determined to get us buy this stupid t-shirt, and most importantly, by cash, as i've found out from ms ng. my 小算盘：既然到头来都要付钱，又何必招来这么多不愉快呢？不愉快是三方面的，学校，老师和同学们都不高兴。既然如此，我们乖乖把钱交上去，不就杜绝了一切不愉快的发生了吗？于是我想，我就做一回黑脸，当一回坏人，把这倒霉的钱交上去好了。that's why i also msged xx for her opinion, coz i don't want when monday comes and i'm collecting money, there's a split between the ct rep and assistant, and ended up with only xx not willing to hand in money as she's not informed.

and then comes to sunday and xx changed her mind. i dunno. that's the end of my plan. i can't change my mind. there's nothing right or wrong, but i have my own reservations.

the '到头来' was my major concerns.

i have been trying to put myself into xx's and chris henry's shoes. i never found their arguments unreasonable. i believe xx did this also for the class's good. she doesn't want us to waste money any more. she doesn't want the draconian admin to do watever they want to do regardless the students' emotions. deep in my heart i also feel the admin's behaviour unreasonable. they just anyhow collect money from us even without a printed notice to the parents, and never ask opinion from us before making sth 'compulsory'. sadly, 我和xx并没有同一个出发点。xx觉得我们有赢的希望。也许熬过了７月３１日就什么是也没有了，也许学校受不了也会让我们用coupon付账。只是，这一点被我归入了‘侥幸心理’。我觉得，在这个节骨眼上，学校妥协的几率，几乎是０。

I believe we're all trying to do sth good for the class, to minimise the classmates' losses. sadly we are from different starting point, and we fail to convince each other, and half way in between we become emotional and had some misunderstanding, and couldn't get the thing done.

indeed i didn't figured out 'stone sail' was ‘见风使舵’(where is the wind?)　i thought xx means we 'stone' more with the admin and we will win over．and i didn't bother to countercheck with her.　then i was quite nervous fearing she'll 干到底 with the school.

maybe i'm wrong guessing that xx has some hope in overcoming the 'haven', as it seems she has no hope in the admin. i don't have much hope either, but i think it's best that we take the initiative to talk to the teacher in charge first before she comes to chase after us. it's kind of a strategy, 先礼后兵。我们大可陈述我们的理由，就算他不接受，也显示了我们的诚意。他如果还要强制执行，理亏的也在他，毕竟我们曾经好声好气和他调解过。如果等到他来找我们，就有一些被动了。

i dunno why but personally i'm quite against the idea that we don't buy the t-shirt since the XL sizes are out of stock. my first reaction is like　这简直就是无赖的理由。nvm, maybe i have some 先入为主的成见。　

i hear cries that the class's split. that's not the first time. the last time was a few weeks ago about the prom. well. i guess knowing the difference and try to accommodate it, is also a way we try to bond with each other. 就像结了婚的夫妻，如果没有吵过架反而不正常。‘相敬如宾’只是一种表面的掩饰。i just hope that the class will view it not so pessimistically. After all, no matter which stand u r on, or u are worry about the class's split, u r all concerning with our class and want it have a better and brighter furture. Only once we have the faith, we can achieve the goal. only we think we can do it, we shall do it.

采菊东篱下，悠然见南山

归去来兮！田园将芜胡不归？既自以心为形役，奚惆怅而独悲？悟已往之不谏，知来者之可追；实迷途其未远，觉今是而昨非。舟摇摇以轻殇，风飘飘而吹衣。问征夫以前路，恨晨光之熹微。

乃瞻衡宇，栽欣载奔。童仆欢迎，稚子候门。三径就荒，松菊尤存。携幼入室，有酒盈樽。引壶觞以自酌，眇庭柯以怡颜。倚南窗以寄傲，审容膝之易安。园日涉以成趣，门虽设而常关。策扶老以流憩，时翘首而遐观。云无心以出岫，鸟倦飞而知还。景翳翳以将入，抚孤松而盘桓。

归去来兮，请息交以绝游。世与我而相遗，复驾言兮焉求？悦亲戚之情话，乐琴书以消忧。农人告余以春兮，将有事乎西畴。或命巾车，或棹孤舟。既窈窕以寻壑，亦崎岖而经丘。木欣欣以向荣，泉涓涓而始流。羡万物之得时，感吾生之行休。

已矣乎！寓形宇内复几时？何不委心任去留？胡为惶惶欲何之？富贵非吾愿，帝乡不可期。怀良辰以孤往，或执杖而耘耔。登东坳以舒啸，临清流而赋诗。聊乘化以归尽，乐夫天命复奚疑？

math?

slacking saturday

i thought i downloaded the 孤单北半球 mtv, but after all it's a girl's version, with all the 你 and  我 exchanging places... bleah... too disappointed. it's just another commercial exploitation lor... equivalent to 翻唱, better still 翻唱新歌, wow!!!
 
and downloaded 江南 mtv also.. equally disappointed. too much away from my expectation. as least they should go to real 江南 to film it lor... bleah, realised they are a taiwan company, and small company, so guess they can just anyhow do the mtv lah... but i still don't feel like seeing electrical lamps, concrete, jeans, etc in the mtv lor... and basically it's a not so gorgeous woman walking and lying here and there dunno wat she is doing, while linjunjie just there 装深沉,装感情... haix... guess i should not expect so much lah...

醒悟

我不下地狱，谁下地狱。

羽毛

有一个女孩，一不小心，一句无意的话语伤了最好的朋友的心。她想道歉，于是找到了城里最有名的一个智者，希望能得到一点指教。

智者说：‘讲出去的话就像泼出去的水，收不回来的，你还是死心吧。’

女孩不信，一定要指着教她一个办法。

智者无奈，就对女孩说：‘好吧，不过你要先做一件事。’

‘什么事？’

‘今天夜里。拆开你最华丽的羽毛枕头，把里面的羽毛一根一根的放在城里每一户人家的门前。’

女孩照做了，夜里寒风凛冽，她挺了过来，到了天明，已然精疲力尽，终于完成了工作，一脸红晕的回到了指着面前。

‘智者，你可以告诉我应该怎么做了吗？’

智者说：‘你还得帮我做另一件事。’

‘什么事？’

‘把你昨天放下的每一根羽毛都捡回来放回枕头里。’

女孩走到街上，才发现，羽毛早已被风吹走了。

vulgarities

wat's the fucking problem?

承受委屈

four years back when i was coming to singapore, the only thing my father told me was “要学会承受委屈，不要以为自己有理就一定没事。”
 
i guess people are unhappy. i'm pissed too. about the same matter, because of different reasons.
 
i'm not the 'i'm ok, u'r ok' type. i'm the 'i'm not entirely ok, but u'r not entirely right, either' type.

divided

The class is divided. the school sux. the teachers slack. i dunno. i dunno why people, and sometimes myself think so.  haix... i'm just getting more and more numbed.

after elation, there is confusion

Do arguments settle anything? No, it just get people confused...
 
It took hours and days for me to lie on bed and think my value system through. i thought i have attacked any weak points in my logic and reasoning, but when it is subjected to another person's viewpoint, i find, my strongest point becomes my weakest link. wellz... i guess i was confused by myself too. but anyway that's a good practice. it shall reoccupy my free time for a few days. time for me to stone. i think i've going to sth philosophical. maybe. but philosophy doesn't earn u any money. and philosophers usually have very bad 下场, either burned, or poisoned, or become mad.
 
sometimes we hold our assumptions so tight that we become surprised when they are underattack. thinking about it. when the assumptions are so deeply rooted they become 'faith' as we call. 'faith' is never perfect, but we need that mental support. even hedonism has a faith: 'everything is pleasure seeking'. that's just like axioms in math. we all take for granted that passing through a point there is one and only one straight line passing through a known straight line. 这是欧几里得几何的基础。只是不是每个人都这么想，于是有了非欧几何，球面几何，等等. axioms do not need to be proved. they are assumptions we take for granted, just like 'faith'. So ironical that we human beings exist because foundamentally take something for granted, while in the moral value system we are always taught that we should not do so. wat a hypocrisy. those who break it through are regarded as 不忠不孝不仁不义不明主不自由不人道不.... but it seems that there's no point of it after all, since we are not starting from the same point, or the same assumption.
 
i think the geometry part shall get some people comfused. they may think i'm just 卖弄 sth，so chim they don't understand. i'm just trying to relate watever i think of. see the phrase 'they may think'? who give u the ability to tell who others think? no one. but we are again taught and taught that we should be sensitive to other's feelings. if u do not agree, u have to say 'i respect our difference', but isn't it another way to show that u are sensitive? no one shall say 'ur assumption is bullshit, blah blah'. even he says so, he is still sensitive, coz he knows that u will be bushuanged when hearing this. he may say it behind u. does that show he doesn't care ur feelings? no! coz he knows people will have prejudice when hearing his seemingly unbiased arguments, and there will be a difference when people are treating u, a difference that u can feel! human psychology's like this! we are all 'big mouths' in one way or another. if we don't want to influence others or try to convince some others, why we wanna argue at first place? yar... we tried to settle sth by argument, but that's just too ideal.

mood? good!

The day started quite well, though it was raining. but that means i could sleep some more and go to school later. went to library and slack for the first 2 periods or math b. looked at the past years books, etc.
 
got back my gp. i was really shocked at the marks... indeed the highest compre and total score i've ever got since i came to singapore. i'm really really very lucky this time round.
 
but the most exciting thingy was the talk by gic!! maybe it's the talk which has altered my life path. i shall try my best to get the gic scholarship.
 
for a long time i've not sure wat i shall be doing in university or for my career. firstly chem... but after so many talks and unpleasant incidents i don't have much faith in it. then physics... soso... math... don't wanna be like mr lau... at this juncture of confusion, this guy comes to us and say: we need only an analytical mind! no bio! no econs! yar... education is teaching u how to think.

talks

judging from the talks, physics is absoutely much more interesting than chemistry.
 
played a bit of basketball on pe. obviously the guys were not interested and the girls don't wanna join coz got me a guy there. maybe i should play soccer next time and leave the basketball to the girls.

labels

people give themselves labels, or rather wat he thinks about himself. he is also given a label by others.  if the two labels happen so that they do not match. the person is angered, confused, bushuanged.
 
i'm bushuanged.
 
jokes or not i don't like it. I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT THAT KIND OF PEOPLE! STUDY SMART? MEMORY MACHINE? RESORT TO TUTORIAL WHEN I'M UNHAPPY? WHAT A BULLSHIT!! $##%$%^%^&^*&^^!@#@*
 
i'm not angered. just bushuanged. be it a joke or not. i'm taking it serious. two years coming to the end and i become such kind of a person? i'm not well educated but i'm definitely such kind of nerd!!!
 
so i have to tell myself again, 不以物喜，不以己悲. i have to abide by this.
 
values, yes, 心止如水，that's what i meant by 'mental composure'. english is such a lousy language that it can't express many things. wonder why chinese kids are smart? why ancient china is a much greater civilisation than those western barbarians? coz we speak chinese! we think in chinese. this is a faster way! english has only 1/10 sounds produced by chinese, not to say the 四声. result? to express sth, english may need 2 音节 while chinese only needs 1. we don't have those troublesome plural froms or watever. thus we think faster in chinese, as we usually think in the same language as we speak. know why japanese (f*ck the jap, let their 自慰队 go and m*sturb*te till they die of exhuastion of sp**m [*尽而亡]) always copy others? coz they think too slow! their japanese can only produce 1/2 sounds in english! try to recite 九九乘法表 in chinese in english. definitely u will find that the chinese version is faster. that's it. our brain speed is faster.
 
hehe...... i think only the english speaking people can be that 'wise' enough to put off mandarin, even though some of them chinese themselves.
 
 
 

sunday blue

I've got sianed doing those kinetics and energetics revision excercise... it's a waste of time for me. really.
 
so i tried to do the chem s assignment. i guess the chem tutors really lack planning work. we were asked to do nov 02 section b, but after all we've done them months ago, just that the tutor never went through it coz she was only able to finish 3 questions in 2 hours... bleh... but good news lah, as no chem s assignment this week.
 
signed up for the chem career talk. but had chem prac on. so shall negotiate with mrs lee tml... hehe... but anyway i will still have to do the make up.
 
food chem tut... can't stand it... copy, copy and copy... a big consumer of my ink and paper
 
ahh... weekend shall end liao... another week is coming...

College Day

it seems that blogger got a new outlook again... hehe, can do more things... not bad.
 
just returned from class webpage... wanted to reply xx's post, but bravenet was done or had sth wrong and i couldn't open the reply page... hehe... guess xx shall be really alone this time round. but then... i think the real problem is that... people just has nothing much to say... even if u complain, at most they'll stop by and say hi for once... if there's nothing interesting on the forum, or nothing important, people will just forget about it.
 
finally college day is over. quite tired commuting on stage and backstage to carry the prizes. people were absent, or came surprisingly, so basically the presentation was a mess and people don't get their own prizes... hehe...
 
guess wat... i have to really mug tml liao... a lot work undone. i'm just becoming more and more slack.
 
 

世界上最遥远的距离

世界上最遥远的距离
不是 生与死
而是 我就站在你面前 你却不知道我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离
不是 我就站在你面前 你却不知道我爱你
而是 明明知道彼此相爱 却不能在一起

世界上最遥远的距离
不是 明明知道彼此相爱 却不能在一起
而是 明明无法阻止这股想念 却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里

世界上最遥远的距离
不是 明明无法阻止这股想念 却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里
而是 用自己冷漠的心对爱你的人 掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠

Graduation

少年不识愁滋味，爱上层楼；爱上层楼，为赋新词强说愁。 而今识尽愁滋味，欲说还休；欲说还休，却道天凉好个秋！-----辛弃疾（宋) 丑奴儿 书博山道中壁

毕业。

突然之间，发现看着一届一届学长远走的自己，也要毕业了。

97年，小学毕业，似乎并没有什么伤感。还有些庆幸自己终于摆脱了一个对自己不好的班主任。还有着一半憧憬，考上了大桥。拿出了一本小笔记本，让一些朋友写上了只言片语。到现在，好友联系的人也是用两只手也数的过来了。

00年，初中毕业，忽然有了一些伤感。要对人说的话没有说，想不到留下了4年的后患。告别班会成了最后了留恋。我们唱了《蜗牛》。不过，最难忘的还是初二时唱的《相亲相爱》：
“因为我们是一家人，
相亲相爱的一家人，
有缘才能相聚，
有心才会珍惜，
何必让满天乌云遮住眼睛。
因为我们是一家人，
相亲相爱的一家人，
有福就该同享，
有难必然同当，
用相知相守换地久天长。
......”
带着盛夏的炎热，我又来到了新加坡。与初中的同学的联系，像等差数列一样的减少，共同语言也越来越少，往往是无言的沉默。还好有几个哥们还时常惦记着。转眼间他们都上了大学，劳雁分飞，回国也见不到人，只能靠短讯。回想起来，那一段时间还是十分值得留恋的。

大概是缺少女生的缘故，华中的两年是沉闷中又有新的发现。男人的世界里，一切都是这么简单。聚了，又散了，直到今年6月假期，才有人想起来个class gathering吧，只可惜还是不了了之。宿舍里倒是混熟了。中四似乎是最有劲的时候，下到刚到的学弟，上到J2的学长都混熟了。新添置了手机。O-level也糊里糊涂的混过了。

华初。开始的惊喜与期望，似乎就注定了结局的平淡与失意。眼见着A-Level的临近慢慢撕裂了我们。我们就像沾在气球上的水滴，随着气球的膨胀而约来越远。或许到了气球爆炸的那一刻，就是我们缘尽的一瞬间。发生的事情，或许知道的真实越少越好。Cliques, loners，又是一道2年的轮回。到了最后，甚至于解脱的时日，最后一门考试结束的时间，也是不一样的。每个人都有自己的想法，其实并没有错，只是每次分歧之后都是心灵的远离。责怪着别人，却从来没有在自己身上找错。原先的流言，却三人成虎般的成了现实。我们败在了自己的手上。我们对自己甚至没有一点信心。

我只是希望会有人去PROM NIGHT， 是03S34的人。

说了半天，自己却是不去。呵呵。我只是觉得我不属于那种地方。或许有一天我会为生活所迫而往来于彼。但不是现在。何必装什么高贵呢。

长久以来，我一直梦想毕业的那一天，大家回到了熟悉的教室。有人弹起了吉他，大家唱着那些属于我们的歌，唱离愁，唱未来，唱过去，欢笑，成了掩盖泪花的盾牌，每一句话，都是赤裸裸般的纯洁与美丽。
“天之涯，地之角
知交半零落
一抔浊酒尽余欢
今宵别梦寒。”
只可惜，我们连教室也没有，只有一张连人都坐不下的CT Bench。

不管怎样，有一句话，总是要说的：
“祝你一路顺风”
吴奇隆
那一天知道你要走
我们一句话也没有说
当午夜的钟声敲痛离别的心门
却打不开我深深的沈默

那一天送你送到最后
我们一句话也没有留
当拥挤的月台挤痛送别的人们
却挤不掉我深深的离愁

我知道你有千言你有万语却不肯说出口
你知道我好担心我好难过却不敢说出口

当你背上行囊卸下那份荣耀
我只能让眼泪留在心底
面带着微微笑用力的挥挥手
祝你一路顺风

当你踏上月台从此一个人走
我只能深深的祝福你
深深的祝福你最亲爱的朋友
祝你一路顺风

江南

[FLASH全屏欣赏]

german choco

xiaoye returned from germany. brought us chocolates... so nice of him. the dark choco really tastes bitter. but i still like it.

Scholarship Day

for most of the times it really hurts when thinking about scholarship matters, not to say career choice. shall i give up my PRC citizenship to get a scholarship? that means i will have to limit my future to singapore. 新加坡什么都好，就是太小. and it is suspected that at the end the agencies will not trust u when u r serving the bond or working for them coz u r not a native singaporean. anyway, there're few scholarships for foreigners, which is quite natural. singapore government and people have wasted quite a large amount of money on us group of scholars. it's a fool to give a foreigner a hundred-thousand or even million worth scholarship and let him flee away.

being a singaporean is so fortunate. u don't have to think about all these, hehe.

anyway... requested admission information for several more us universities today online... hehe... someone has already received application materials... but i haven't though i'll filled up my particulars in the mailing list... nvm.. shall wait some more... it's like fun... i dunno how many i shall apply... but won't 吊死在一颗树上. maybe i shall choose a not so good university so that they shall give me full financial aid. or request financial aid for top universities like yale or havard... hehe... since the percentage of successful applicants do not differ with respect to requisition of financial aid... just try my luck... us universities really make a lot of money through application exercise... i think i'll be bankrupt after paying the registration fees.

oh yar... haven't gone to MIT website... hehe... nerds' school... won't be bothered... with my mere sat score it shall be a joke applying to them... hehe.

and the first problem is whether i can get the scholarship... already got only a band 2 for PW... bleah.. have to get 4 As, 2 Ds, and at least A2 for GP.... aya... 早知道就好好读GP了。

醉翁亭记

醉翁亭记
〔宋〕欧阳修

环滁皆山也。其西南诸峰，林壑尤美。望之蔚然而深秀者，琅琊也，山行六七里，渐闻水声潺潺，而泻出于两峰之间者，酿泉也。峰回路转，有亭翼然临于泉上者，醉翁亭也。作亭者谁？山之僧智仙也。名之者谁？太守自谓也。太守与客来饮于此，饮少辄醉，而年又最高，故自号曰醉翁也。醉翁之意不在酒，在乎山水之间也。山水之乐，得之心而寓之酒也。
若夫日出而林霏开，云归而岩穴暝，晦明变化者，山间之朝暮也。野芳发而幽香，佳木秀而繁阴，风霜高洁，水落而石出者，山间之四时也。朝而往，暮而归，四时之景不同，而乐亦无穷也。
至于负者歌于途，行者休于树，前者呼，后者应，伛偻提携，往来而不绝者，滁人游也。临溪而渔，溪深而鱼肥；酿泉为酒，泉香而酒洌；山肴野蔌，杂然而前陈者，太守宴也。宴酣之乐，非丝非竹，射者中，弈者胜，觥筹交错，起坐而喧哗者，众宾欢也。苍颜白发，颓然乎其间者，太守醉也。
已而，夕阳在山，人影散乱，太守归而宾客从也。树林阴翳，鸣声上下，游人去而禽鸟乐也。然而禽鸟知山林之乐，而不知人之乐；人知从太守游而乐，而不知太守之乐其乐也。醉能同其乐，醒能述以文者，太守也。太守谓谁？庐陵欧阳修也。
——选自《四部丛刊》本《欧阳文忠公文集》

不以物喜，不以己悲

嗟夫！予尝求古仁人之心，或异二者之为。何哉？不以物喜，不以己悲。居庙堂之高，则忧其民；处江湖之远，则忧其君。是进亦忧，退亦忧。然则何时而乐耶？其必曰“先天下之忧而忧，后天下之乐而乐”乎。噫，微斯人，吾谁与归！

可叹哪！我曾经琢磨过古时候志士仁人的内心，也许与以上两种心情有所不同吧。为什么呢？他们不因为外物的影响而感到可喜，也不因为自己的遭遇而觉得悲哀。居于朝廷的高位，则为他们的百姓担忧；退身于辽远的江湖，则为他们的君主忧虑。这真是进也忧，退也忧。那么什么时候才会快乐呢？他们一定会说“先天下之忧而忧，后天下之乐而乐”啊。唉，除了这样的人，我还将崇敬谁呢？

范仲淹--《岳阳楼记》

Putting my consciousness under vivisection

对我来说开口说话似乎已经成了一件难事，一声对不起似乎更难了。或许就是因为这个，我周边的人才会一点一点离我而去。我害怕说话。我害怕不经意的话语伤了人的心，本是善意的言辞被人听出了别的味道。似乎我说的每一句话都给了人错误的信号。于是我害怕了，不再说话，却从此无法弥补自己的错误。在别人眼里也变成了孤家寡人，似乎我活在这个世上就是为了拿A，考试。怎么可以这样说呢。我也不是一个稻草人呀。

我在想，当时我说的那句话其实是没有经过大脑的，是我的第一反应，我怎么想的就怎么说出来的，于是就谈不上客气不客气。其实这就是我内心的声音，但只是一个声音，是没有什么喜欢或是讨厌的元素在里面的。我是一个追求效率的人。我不求我比别人做的多，我只求我的效率比别人高，同等时间比别人做更多的事情，如果心里没有读书的念头，我也不会去读书，反正也使读不进。也许有人要问这与这件事有什么关系。其实很简单。我视它为我的工作。化学作业要给老猫，ct的安排表要给XX，杂志要给fy，其余的我就发给班上的人。我觉得这是最有效率的途径把这么一大叠东西处理掉，同时确保物有所属，每个人都能拿到，如果有人没拿到也可以找到负责的人。于是我认为任何在这之中不相关的人的插手，就是一种效率的浪费，做无用功（no work done). 我自然会觉得‘不管你的事’。只不过这一次，或是很多次，都这样不加修饰地说出了口。我没有什么个人喜好的成分在里面。

bad mood

while doing the hypothesis 2 tutorial, i suddenly realised that my hypothesis testing question in block test was wrong right from the hypothesis itself... wah... 12 points gone liao...

and spent a lot of time doing the hypothesis tut.... couldn't tell whether it's independent or dependent, z test or t text... and some questions a re weird... dunno why, esp the prelim qns... better still no answeres given... so blur

not being careful

'i dunno if i am being too sensitive or wat but i keep sensing that zhou xiang like will always rebut me and put me down leh. i saw him holding on to a large stack of paper when he entered the class for gp so i thought it was some letter for parents or more tutorials. so out of curiousity i went to ask him what he was holding and he said none of my business. i felt hurt and kept quiet then.'

Obviously i wasn't sensitive enough... and it's quite alarming, coz it seems to be my usual way of conduct. i do not mean to hurt or 故意跟人作对. People feel they are hurt and i feel hurt also. lose-lose situation.

Troy里的穿帮

Block Test Over

finally block test is over. i feel so numbed towards it. F math paper is.... hehe, guess i lack some practise. so basically i finished the paper without knowing right or wrong and no time to check... guess section a kinda sux... statistics always do.

went back straightaway. had lunch at chinese high canteen... didn't feel like hanging out... did my laundry... wanted to tidy up my room but not in that mood. wanted to go queensway for new shoes... but again... not very keen. by the way my basketball shoes are finally worn out..

haix... normal lessons start tml... another ten weeks and after prelim we can stay at home and do self study. so it may be the last few weeks the class can see each other everyday.

end of euro2004

euro 2004 ended with greece creating their own 'myth'. hehe, but i think russia is the strongest team, as they are the only team who beat greece in this championship...

冷酷到底——羽泉——难道

夜深时有没有人为你点上一盏灯
在你入梦后有没有人为你把手放平
当你伤心时有没人为你擦干眼泪
在你失落后有没人把你拥入怀中
难道你真的没有感觉到
你对我来说是多么的重要
难道你真的没有感觉到
我的爱不需要再说什么天荒地老

神雕侠侣

今天唯一作的有意义的事就是看了最后几集《神雕侠侣》，香港版，古天乐李若彤演的。

16年。你会为你爱的人做一个16年的承诺吗？在这16年里，你对他（她）的思念，会一点都没有被时间冲淡吗？人死后，还是一抔黄土所掩盖，情真的能永恒吗？

无所谓，反正further math不考。

Long Weekend Ahead

今天是物理实验考试，轻松又愉快，还不如不考。

好多人在抱怨说为什么我们还要等上一个长周末再考高数，别人都可以玩上4天，我们还要复习。呵呵，其实对我来说是无所谓啦，估计我会玩上个两天，最后一天抱抱佛脚。虽说玩的时候突然想起还要考试也会有些不爽，不过六月假期都这么过过来了，也没有说因为block test而玩得不尽兴的，所以说这种考虑只是杞人忧天罢了吧。说实话我不是很喜欢一天考两科的那种人，所以说这样的安排还说的过去。至于别人玩，他们就玩去咯，你要玩不也是照样可以玩，反正这是你的自由，何必浪费时间读一些读不进的书呢。

已经听说有不少人在希腊队身上输钱了。希腊人果然是雅典娜的圣斗士们，还是燃烧了小宇宙，体验到第七感的黄金圣斗士，这个猛的。我估计他们的战术就是在加时赛时间不多的时候给对手致命一击，让对方连还手之力也没有。足球只有一场定胜负的，真可惜，不像NBA，七场四胜制，真正实力的体现。

92年丹麦拿冠军，他们说是‘童话’，因为安徒生的关系，今年希腊再夺冠他们估计要说是“神话”了。

不过我还是比较支持葡萄牙的。黄金一代的谢幕战了。

总而言之，这个周末属于欧锦赛。

Czech lost

捷克输了，加时赛上半段最后10秒被进了一个角球，连还手的机会也没有。

或许这是希腊队的战术吧，一击必杀。

没有了内德维德，捷克果然不行。

这会好了，开幕战与闭幕战一样了。

Thursday

没有想到math c也可以这么让人费心。不在什么状态，第一题就愣在那儿了。还好慢慢慢慢有一些起色，跳过的题也作了，只是不知对错，呵呵，统计的两题还是有些疑惑，也许是我想得太多了。用了两个半小时才作完，失败啊，以往是一半时间作完，一半时间睡觉的。

不过说实话，的确没怎么认真复习数学。昨晚打冠军足球经理（championship manager) 到12点，之后象征性的看了一点statistics，mechanics就没怎么看，还好有些physics的底子，再加上一点运气... 呵呵，差点忘了怎样积分v/（g+kv），还好凑出来了。

明天物理实验，估计又要等上n多时间才轮到我们考。

S6的人明天就考完了，S7的人还剩practical，其实也算完了，只剩我们S3的还有‘高等数学’。其实我是无所谓拉，一个周末我也不会读书的，呵呵，破罐子破摔了。

拜天还有跆拳道grading，这起要sparring了，好久没练了，不知会怎样。